Memory
by MelancholyMuse519
Summary: Once upon a time there was a girl and a boy. They fel for each other, but then the situation changed and left them with only a memory.


Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own Harry Potter. shakes head sadly Nor do I own the song "Always" which is the property of Bon Jovi.

A/N: Text in _italics_ is flashbacks. Text in **bold **is song lyrics.

Memory

**This Romeo is bleeding **

**But you can't see his blood**

**It's nothing but some feelings **

**That this old dog kicked up**

Harry Potter sighed morosely as he stared out the dirty rain-lashed window. He was in bed, inside his small, dingy, poorly lighted flat in Wimbourne. Even though there was someone else in bed with him, he was alone. He had been alone ever since the War. Since that horrible day fourteen years ago when he had faced Voldemort in the Final Battle. That was when so many good witches and wizards had died. That was when life as he knew it had changed forever.

Life had changed for him before, but this time was different. When his parents were killed, he was only one, too small for the event to have any real impact when it happened. Thirteen years later, when he watched Voldemort murder Cedric Diggory, he knew he had to bring Voldemort down; that it was no longer only about personal vengeance. The next year, when Bellatrix murdered Sirius and Voldemort escaped again, Harry realized that he had to carry on with a normal life or it would destroy him. Dumbledore's death at the end of his sixth year only confirmed what Cedric Diggory's death had instilled in him. The worst by far, aside from the Final Battle itself, had been when he heard the Prophecy in Dumbledore's Pensieve. When he realized he would either have to kill or be killed. He had been able to carry on normally enough; he returned to Hogwarts for his seventh year, despite his vows to look for the remaining Horcruxes. He had wanted to embark on the search the day after Bill and Fleur's wedding, but Hermione had shown him that there was no way he could do that. He had no idea where to start or even what to look for. He had come to the conclusion that he would have to use Hogwarts as a starting point. So he returned to the school that had been his home for so long. Everything was so different without Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall tried to keep things running as normally as possible, but was forced to impose harsher security measures such as identity badges for each and every castle resident that could only be worn by the person whose picture was on the badge. To prevent Death Eaters sneaking in wearing disguises, the badges resisted Polyjuice Potion as well as Charms designed to change the caster's appearance. She had appointed Hermione Head Girl, and Blaise Zabini was the Head Boy.

The memory of Hermione made Harry shudder, and he took a long drink from the bottle of scotch in his hand to still himself. Hermione Granger. The smartest, most talented, and most beautiful witch he had ever known. She was the only one had ever loved.

**It's been raining since you left me**

**Now I'm drowning in the flood**

**See I've always been a fighter**

**But without you I give up**

After his short-lived romance with Ginny Weasley in his sixth year, Harry believed it unlikely he would ever have a relationship with anyone else until after the War was over. And besides that, Hermione entered into a relationship with Ron after Dumbledore's funeral. Harry knew it was coming; he had even been expecting it ever since she sobbed on his shoulder during their third year. But all the same it didn't change the sting of loneliness and defeat he felt whenever he saw them together. It grew harder and harder for him to be around them, but he never left their side because to do so would have been even worse. He played the part of the supportive best friend, and helped them through numerous fights and spats, much like he had before they became a couple. One day, however, it all became too much. Taking another long drink from the bottle of scotch, Harry remembered one of the early days of their final year at Hogwarts.

[_They were sitting in the seclusion of the Room of Requirement._ _Hermione was crying on his shoulder again. She and Ron had gotten into yet another fight. He was just about to ask her what the cause of this fight was when suddenly she stood up and began pacing the floor in front of him._

_"It's not like I asked to get in a fight with him! And I'm not the one who accused him of snogging Blaise Zabini! Like I'd ever snog Blaise in the first place!" she fumed as she paced._

_"Ron accused you of cheating on him?" Harry was still trying to piece two and two together._

_"Yes! He always has, ever since we started going out! If it's not Blaise, then I'm obviously snogging Dean Thomas or Seamus or Ernie Macmillan since I took the time to talk with them a few times!"_

_He fought the impulse to laugh. "You would never snog Ernie."_

_"Tell that to Ron, because he doesn't seem to know! I don't deserve this! I've never accused him of cheating on me…with anyone! Not even with that slut Padma Patil!" _

_"Hermione, you need to calm down. You're not thinking clearly."_

_"Harry, I'm thinking very clearly. I can't be with Ron any more. It's too hard for me. I've got to end things with him."_

_He blinked. This was so unexpected yet almost too good to be true. He had harbored a secret crush on Hermione since their second year but had never acted on his feelings to avoid messing up their friendship. No doubt Ron would be devastated, but Harry couldn't help feeling the tiniest bit of hope at her declaration._

The rain fell harder as events replayed themselves in Harry's mind. Hermione had ended things with Ron, and he had not been happy. A rather long, screaming fight had taken place in the Common Room and for many weeks afterward, Harry had comforted Hermione as she cried, second-guessed herself and wished vehemently that people would mind their own business. She received an owl from Mrs. Weasley about two weeks after the break-up asking her what in hell she had been thinking. That had been the hardest part of everything. They had tried to continue the school year as normally as possible. Even though he was still searching for the Horcruxes, he realized he would have to use the school as a starting point as he had no idea where to start his search.

Harry shuddered at the memories of searching for the Horcruxes and took another drink of scotch to ward them off. The final Horcrux had turned out to be Gryffindor's sword that he had pulled from the Sorting Hat in his second year. Then, not long after he destroyed the sword, he discovered the location of Voldemort's hiding place in Ireland. He knew he would have to attack Voldemort soon or the evil wizard would know he had been found. Another memory surfaced from the depths of Harry's mind as he glanced at the sleeping woman next to him.

**Now I can't sing a love song**

**Like the way it's meant to be**

**Well I guess I'm not that good anymore**

**But baby that's just me**

[_"They said you're going after him tomorrow."_

_Hermione had come to his room the night before he would set out to fight Voldemort. He looked up at her from his seat on his bed, and she looked so scared, so pale in the firelight, that it was all he could do not to take her in his arms and try to comfort her._

_"I have to. Sooner or later, he'll know I've found out where he is."_

_She nodded, walked over, and sat down next to him._

_"Harry, I can't stop you going tomorrow, and I know you won't let me come with you, so there's some things I need to say to you before you go."_

_"What is it, Herm?" He looked right at her, and made sure to meet her brown eyes with his own green ones._

_"Ever since I broke up with Ron…no, since before Ron and I were even dating…you've been a great friend to me. You've listened and explained things to me in ways I would never have thought of by myself. I don't know what I would have done without you, Harry, and I don't know what I'll do if you die."_

_He caught the implications of her words, but they were far too good to be true. He was about to ask her what exactly she meant when she continued._

_"I realized the other day that I've been making a mistake since the beginning. I might have had feelings for Ron at one point, but they're gone now. It's you, Harry. It's always been you."_

_"What's me?" The question sounded dumb, but he had no idea how else to phrase it._

_"I love you, Harry. I've loved you for a long time now. I'm only sorry I didn't realize it sooner."_

_He was dumbfounded at how events had unfolded. The girl he had harbored feelings for for five years was confessing that she felt the same way about him. He continued to look at her; all words had left him._

_"I'm sorry I told you now. You obviously don't feel the same way. I'll just go." Tears were falling down her face, and as she stood, he caught her small hand in his. He couldn't let her walk away._

_"Don't go, Hermione. And don't cry. I love you, too."_

_She looked at him as she sat back down. "You- you do?"_

_He nodded with a small smile on his face. Tonight was turning out better than he had ever pictured._

_"Oh, Harry," she leaned in and kissed him then. He kissed her back, and before either of them knew what was happening, they were laying down and he was on top of her and then they were making love and then, when things finally seemed to slow down, they had fallen asleep together._

**And I will love you baby, always**

**And I'll be there forever and a day, always**

**I'll be there 'til the stars don't shine**

'**Til the heavens burst and**

Tears fell, unbidden, down Harry's face as he remembered that night so long ago. He had left early the next morning, before she woke up, and after defeating Voldemort, he had returned to Hogwarts only to find her gone. He had meant to search for her, to find her and explain everything to her, starting with why he had left, but he had become swept up in celebrations, dinners, and festivals all held in his honor. Then, as it had before, time seemed to acquire wings and the next thing he knew he was living in a dirty flat married to Luna Lovegood, whom he didn't even love.

Time had dulled the pain of losing Hermione, but could not erase the pain of everything else he had endured. Alcohol had succeeded in this and become a closer companion than any witch or wizard ever could. The _Daily Prophet_ was pushed through the mail slot of his door, and fell to the floor with a thump. He wondered why he still bothered getting the bloody thing delivered.

**The words don't rhyme  
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind  
And I'll love you - always**

Crossing the room on unsteady feet, the bottle of scotch still clutched in one hand, Harry picked up the paper and unrolled it. The front page was an article about a supposed former Death Eater working for the Ministry. His lip curled in disgust as he leafed through the paper and he was about to throw it in the fire when a small story caught his attention. There, in the bottom right corner of the last page the headline _New Minister Celebrates Fifth Wedding Anniversary_, was glaring up at him. Hermione had been elected Minister of Magic two years ago, eight years after he defeated Voldemort, and now it looked as if she was happily married. According to the paragraph, she had married Percy Weasley and they lived in Wiltshire with one child, Minerva Jane, who was three years old.

Suddenly, things came together for Harry. This had to be a sign. All his years of regrets, flashbacks and lonely nights could finally be at an end. He had to go to her. He had to talk to her and try to make her understand. If he had any luck, she would accept his apology, agree with his explanation and ultimately renew her feelings for him.

It had taken somewhat longer to prepare himself than Harry had originally intended and by the time he was approaching Hermione's fancy Wilshire home, it was nearly midnight. He prayed she would be awake, or that he would be able to wake her. He had to talk to her. It was fast becoming a matter of life and death.

He knocked loudly on the door, waited impatiently for a few seconds, and knocked again. He shifted from foot to foot and was just about to knock again when the door opened, revealing a very sleepy Hermione standing behind it.

**Now your pictures that you left behind  
Are just memories of a different life  
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry  
One that made you have to say goodbye**

The sight of her nearly made Harry take her in his arms and kiss her right there. Her brown hair was slightly tousled, and the blue bathrobe she was wearing seemed to fit her perfectly. Even without makeup her skin seemed to glow. Her brown eyes cleared as she stood facing him and he was reminded of just how beautiful she really was.

"Harry, are you okay? Has something happened?" Concern was etched all over her face.

"No. I'm fine. Nothing's happened. I just…I need to talk to you." he finished quietly.

"Okay. Please, come in." She stood aside and he entered the foyer, blinking in the harsh glare of the lights. He followed Hermione into the living room and sat down across from her in a blue wingback chair.

"Thank you for listening to me this late at night." he said with a small smile.

"It's no problem. Now, what do you need to talk about?"

He took a deep breath, and made eye contact with her. "I came to a conclusion today, Herm. And that is that I'm in love with you….that is…I'm still in love with you."

Her eyes widened in surprise, and she opened her mouth to say something, but he continued. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Ever since…ten years ago. Everything reminds me of you. I might be married, but I'm not happy. I know the only way for me to be happy is to be with you."

"Do you know what you're saying?" she asked, never breaking their eye contact.

"I'm fully aware of it. I swear to you, I know the meaning of everything I've just said and I know that the last time I was really happy was…"

"Ten years ago." she finished almost sadly, looking down at the carpet. "I just can't believe you Harry."

"What can't you believe?" He was scared of her response, it seemed like she was getting angry.

"I can't believe," she began slowly, looking up at him, "that you think just showing up after ten years of silence is going to make me fall back in love with you. If you were so happy with me why did you leave without saying goodbye? Why didn't you ever try to find me?"

He was at a loss for words, and she took his silence as an opportunity to continue. "And why did you get _married_, Harry? Why not at least send me an Owl? You didn't honestly think I was going to wait around for ten years did you?"

He found his voice. "You said you loved me."

"Yes, I loved you. But you disappeared and never tried to find me again. What else was I supposed to do? I moved on. I found someone else. And I thought…until tonight…that you did too."

She looked so sad, so angry and so sorry that he wanted nothing more than to hold her and kiss her and apologize over and over until she would forgive him.

**What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair  
To touch your lips, to hold you near  
When you say your prayers try to understand  
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man**

"Ok, I'll admit I made a mistake not saying goodbye. I thought it would be easier for both of us, but I guess I was wrong. Isn't there some way I can make you understand that I still love you and I'm willing to spend the rest of my life making up for it?" He was getting desperate. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen.

"I understand that, Harry. But you're too late. I married Percy, and unlike you, I'm happy with my marriage. I love Percy."

"Do you really?" He had to find out if she was really telling the truth.

"Yes! Would I have carried his child if I didn't love him? Would I have been so public about our relationship if I didn't know it was love? Would I have married him if I didn't know I was in love?"

He sighed and remembered that her relationship with the third eldest Weasley had been under the constant surveillance of nearly all wizarding media outlets in Britain since it began.

"No, you wouldn't. But, Hermione, do you really love him more than you loved me?"

It was unfair for him to ask, and her voice was strained in its response, as if she was about to cry. "Yes! How can I convince you of that? Percy's never left me and disappeared without so much as an Owl. He supports me as Minister. He's an amazing father and he makes me happier than I can remember being in a long time."

"You don't mean that." Shock had been replaced with denial now, in an effort to ward off the pain he knew would settle in soon.

"I do mean it. I'm in love with Percy and that's not going to change. Maybe I loved you when I was seventeen, but it's too late Harry. It's about ten years too late."

"Why? Why am I too late? Why don't you love me any more?"

Something seemed to snap inside her. "Have you listened to anything I've been saying?" Her voice rose in volume with each word, and tears were falling down her cheeks. "You did this to yourself! You left me after I told you how I felt and then disappeared for a decade! I waited for you for four years but I finally realized you weren't coming back so I accepted it and moved on." She paused for breath and continued, this time in a normal voice, "And that's what you need to do Harry. You need to accept that whatever we had is dead now and move on."

He watched her wipe away her tears and wished there was some way for him to rectify the situation. He opened his mouth to try and apologize again; to defend himself and his feelings, but a second male voice interrupted him.

"Everything okay in here?"

Percy Weasley was standing in the doorway, wearing a navy blue bathrobe and looking concerned.

Hermione reacted first. "Everything's fine. Harry was just leaving."

He nodded, realizing there was nothing more he could do. "Goodnight Percy. I'm sorry to have disturbed you this late. Goodbye Hermione, I hope you're happy."

**When he holds you close, when he pulls you near  
When he says the words you've been needing to hear  
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine  
To say to you till the end of time**

"Goodbye Harry."

Her voice was firm, but he could see her shaking ever so slightly. He walked out the front door and back into the black of the night. It was over. She didn't love him anymore.

The fact of the matter hit him with titanic force and he sank onto a nearby bench. The person he loved most in the world had just told him it was over. He could never get her back. She had waited, but finally given up on him and moved on. He had made a mistake and he sensed he would pay for it for his entire life. Hermione had stopped loving him and it was all his fault. Staring at the cement sidewalk, Harry Potter gave in and cried for the first time in five years.

It was about four in the morning when Harry rose from the bench and returned to his flat. Luna was asleep in the double bed and he pulled off his pants and crawled in next to her. More out of reflex than anything else, he pulled her sleeping form into his arms and kissed her forehead. He felt hollow and empty inside, as if a piece of himself was gone and could never be replaced. It was then he realized that no matter what happened, he would always love Hermione.

**Yeah, I will love you baby - always  
And I'll be there forever and a day - always**

If you told me to cry for you  
I could  
If you told me to die for you  
I would

He looked down at Luna sleeping next to him and even though she was his best friend and a great lover, he knew he could never love her the way she did him. He remembered one occasion when she told him, in a fit of passion, that she would always love him and do anything for him. As much as he had wanted to, he hadn't been able to look her in the eyes and answer her honestly that he felt the same. He had answered, but he had visualized Hermione the entire time and instead of Luna's pale blue eyes, he imagined a pair of warm brown ones, with flecks of gold around the pupil. His wife's long blonde hair became a pile of magically tamed brown curls that fell to her shoulder blades. In his head, he was telling Hermione that he would die for her, not Luna.

Somehow, Harry managed to fall into a fitful sleep for a few hours and when he awoke, it was eight o'clock in the morning and he was alone in bed. Vaguely, he heard someone moving in the kitchen and even though he knew it was Luna, he fantasized for the briefest of seconds that it was Hermione, and that the events of the previous night had unfolded in a completely different way. He pulled himself out of bed, made his way to the kitchen, and smiled at Luna as their eyes met.

"Good morning." She met him in the doorway as they wrapped their arms around each other. He kissed her on the lips briefly, smiling down at her but still visualizing Hermione.

"Where were you all last night? You know I don't like to sleep alone."

"I had some things to take care of." He had trouble meeting her eyes. "I'll make up for it tonight."

She smiled a shiny white smile as they kissed again. "I look forward to it. Did you get everything taken care of, then?"

"Things didn't turn out how I planned, but yeah they're taken care of."

**Take a look at my face  
There's no price I won't pay  
To say these words to you**

"Good." She returned her attention to the stove and he settled down at the nearby table, happy just to watch her. It was nice to have something to distract his thoughts from Hermione, even if it would only be for a few minutes.

Eventually the food was ready and they were eating together. It was quiet, almost too much so. Harry was doing his best to think of something to say but Luna beat him to it.

"So how did it go with Hermione anyway?"

Harry blinked, very thrown off. "What are you talking about?"

"I know you went to see her last night." Her eyes were downcast, and she looked sadder than ever.

"What tipped you off?"

"You left the article about her anniversary on the couch. I was cleaning up a bit, it caught my eye, and I knew."

"I'm sorry, Luna." He had an unbearably hard time meeting her eyes and kept his own fixed on the linoleum floor.

"How long has it been Harry?" Tears were falling down her face now, and for the first time in a long time he saw Luna crying and not Hermione.

"How long has what been?"

"How long have you been in love with Hermione?"

He sighed heavily. "Ten years."

She sounded horrified now; her blue eyes were wider than he could ever remember. "You mean that even when we got married…when you said you'd love me forever…it was all about her?"

"It was…I thought that if I married you I could leave her behind and forget my feelings for her but I guess I was wrong. One more mistake."

"What do you mean one more?" she sounded scared now.

"To make a long story short, I made a mistake ten years ago which is why Hermione and I aren't together. And I made another mistake in thinking I could forget her."

"Then you made a mistake marrying me?"

"No. It wasn't a mistake. You're my best friend and one of my greatest lovers and if I wasn't so obsessive…things would be so much different."

"You're right…they would."

Silence blanketed the room again. Harry felt awful about how events had unfolded. His greatest secret had been laid out because of his own mistakes. He sighed heavily as it joined the ever-lengthening mental list he kept of his own failures.

"Is there anything I can do to make this better?"

"I don't know, Harry. I'm going to need some time to think this over. I think I'm going to need to stay with Ginny for a few days."

"I understand. Do you want help packing?"

"I'll be fine, thanks." Her smile was tight-lipped, and her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

He nodded as she stood and left the kitchen. Glancing down, he noticed the darkness of the coffee in the mug in front of him. The liquid was dark, deep, and no matter how hard he looked, he couldn't see the bottom of the mug.

**Well, there ain't no luck  
In these loaded dice  
But baby if you give me just one more try**

Luna returned after two weeks with the news she was leaving him. Truthfully, he expected nothing less. After all, she had discovered her husband really wasn't in love with her and never had been. She looked thinner than he remembered, as well as paler. Ginny came along to help her collect her things, and the two women treated Harry with indifference. He couldn't decide if it would have been worse if they screamed at him. He finally decided he felt too low to care how they regarded him anymore.

What upset him most though, wasn't Luna leaving. And it wasn't being ignored by her and Ginny. It was Hermione's rejection that pained him more than anything. It was his memories of her words that kept him awake at night as they replayed themselves over and over in his head. It was the look on her face, half angry, half regretting; her brown eyes filled with tears that haunted his dreams when he managed to sleep. But what got to him most were her final words as he walked out the front door. She had said goodbye; that meant she really wanted him to leave her life and not to trouble her again. That meant she really wanted to end things between them, even though they had barely been given the chance to start.

Harry couldn't live with this. He couldn't face the idea of the love of his life not loving him any more. Even though it seemed like she wanted things over for good, he had to try one more time. He had to convince her that she was meant to be with him and not Percy.

Several hours later, early in the morning, before he could really comprehend the plan he had just devised, Harry found himself standing on Hermione and Percy's doorstep yet again. He raised his fist and knocked twice.

"Harry what are you doing here?" Hermione was standing before him, like last time. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks were flushed in anger. There was a small child balanced on her hip, which he assumed was her daughter.

**We can pack up our old dreams  
And our old lives  
We'll find a place where the sun still shines  
**

"Hermione, please hear me out. I can't live without you. Luna left me, and I realized that my world is empty now…except for you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and I know, no matter what you say that you love me too. Please, just come with me. We can go hide away somewhere, and forget this whole mess ever happened between us."

"You are insane!" she snapped. It was likely she would have said more, but, as he had a knack of doing, Percy appeared behind her.

"Hello, Harry, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Perce. Can you take Minnie for me, please?"

She handed the child over to Percy, who clung to her father in such a tender, innocent way that it almost made Harry sick. It shouldn't be this way. That should be his daughter, and he should be the one married to Hermione.

As soon as the front door closed behind her Hermione turned back to Harry, her hands balled into fists.

"You have no business turning up here and telling me to leave behind everything I value and take off with you. The last time we talked I told you that it was over between us. Maybe I should have used more direct terms, but that's how I feel. You are more obsessive than I ever thought possible, and it's not healthy. You need to move on and find someone else. If you have any sense left, treat them better than you did Luna and they won't leave you. But it won't be me. It's never going to be me. Goodbye, Harry. I mean it."

Harry was left speechless. He truly had no idea how to reply to everything she had just said. He tried as hard as he possibly could to think of some way to rectify the current situation, but Hermione turned, and was inside the house with the door closed behind her before he could even open his mouth.

He stood on the doorstep, still trying to absorb and process everything she had just said. He was just considering leaving when the door in front of him opened again, but this time it was Percy who walked out of the house, not Hermione. And Percy looked angry.

"Don't say anything." His voice was steely and the tops of his ears were bright red. "Hermione told me everything that happened before, as well as ten years ago. How can you say you love her? How? You show up here after a decade of silence and expect her to go willingly into your arms…it's unbelievable. I had always counted you as a friend, Harry, but I can't do that anymore. If you really loved Hermione as much as you claim, you wouldn't keep showing up and making her unhappy. I can't stand by and let you keep hurting my wife like this. If you ever come near Hermione again or do anything at all upset her, you will be sorry."

"Percy…please let me explain." He had no idea what he would be explaining, but he had to do something to prevent Percy hexing him to next week.

"No, you've done enough damage. Leave, now."

Realizing he was finally defeated, Harry turned and left the doorstep. He walked slowly down the sidewalk and turned the corner before he finally looked back. Percy had gone inside, and now the house appeared deserted. A terrible sense of loneliness set in as he realized he could never go back there again.

**And I will love you, baby - always  
And I'll be there forever and a day - always  
I'll be there till the stars don't shine**

The next few days passed in a blur of alcohol, darkness, and seclusion. Harry barely slept, scarcely ate, and thought of Hermione constantly. He even found an old photo oh the two of them from Hogwarts and stared at it like if he looked away he might just die. Then, one day, when he was considering ending it all to escape his loneliness, there was a knock on his door.

He stared at the door for a few minutes, wondering if the sound really had come from over there, when the knock sounded again. He got up, slowly made his way over, and opened the door.

Standing before him was Ron Weasley.

"Ron?"

"Hey Harry, how are you mate?" His childhood best friend wore a small smile as he let himself in.

"All right…just been getting along. And you?"

"Pretty good, actually…I'm seeing Susan now. Do you remember Susan Bones?"

"That's great, Ron. Congratulations." He wanted to be happy for his friend, but found it very hard in his current state. He prayed his voice didn't sound too hollow when he congratulated him.

"Thanks. I'm starting to think she's the one. How about you? Are you still with Luna?"

"No. She…she left a few weeks ago."

"I'm really sorry, Harry. Are you all right?"

"No…no I'm not. I think I'm losing it."

"It's Hermione isn't it?" Ron asked showing an unprecedented bout of quick thinking.

"What? Who said it was about her?" The two young men sat down across from each other, one on the couch, the other in an armchair.

"Harry…I've known you for over fifteen years. You're obsessed with this girl, and you have been ever since we were at school. What happened?"

He sighed a heavy sigh and met his friend's eyes. "I went to her house one night…and I told her how I felt. I tried to make her see that I wouldn't take off on her again, that I really did love her, but things went differently than I planned."

"You found out she married Percy, then?"

"Yeah…I did. And about their daughter. I left that night, and all I could think about was how I needed to get her back. And how if I just went back again, she would see reason and fall in love with me all over again. So I went back…and it was a disaster. She yelled at me, then Percy told me if I ever came near her again, I'd be sorry …and I haven't stopped thinking about her since."

"So what are you going to do about it?" The question was a simple one, which he found unbelievably difficult to answer.

"I don't know. I didn't really think much about what would happen if things didn't go the original way I planned." He hung his head, and realized how pathetic his life had become.

"I've got an idea."

"And that is?"

"You need to get out of here. Go to some other country, get a job, and start over. You need to get away from Hermione." Ron was being unusually sensible and clearheaded, something for which Harry was very grateful.

"Where can I go? I've got next to no money, I'm completely alone, and I'm unemployed."

"It doesn't matter, it's up to you. I'll pay…I'll give you enough money to get wherever you want to go, and enough to get you started once you're there. But you need to go. There's nothing for you here anymore."

Harry looked at his friend, and he knew he was right. He also knew Ron would help in any way he could.

"Ok…you're right…I need to start packing, then."

His friend nodded and smiled. "You're doing the right thing. Do you want help getting started?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Ron." The two shared a smile and stood to begin packing up the apartment.

**Till the heavens burst and  
The words don't rhyme  
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind**

Harry left England a week after his talk with Ron. All that went with him was a suitcase full of clothes and a bottle of scotch. His possessions from his apartment had either been sold or burned. The picture of him and Hermione went into an envelope, along with a letter that he left with Ron. He found a small apartment in Massachusetts, got a job with an accounting firm and took on the name of David Brown. He dyed his hair light brown and got contact lenses. Each change he made confirmed the fact that this was a new beginning, and that he would never see Hermione again.

At the same time Harry was beginning his new life, Ron was knocking on Hermione and Percy's front door, the letter in one hand. As hard as it was for him to say goodbye to his best friend, he knew it was all for the best.

"Ron, it's so good to see you. Come on in." Hermione was wearing a big smile when she opened the door.

"You too, 'Mione. Is Percy here?"

"No, he's not. Do you need to talk to him?"

"Actually, I came to see you. This is from Harry." He held out the envelope, and she took it with shaking hands.

"Where- where is he now?" she asked after a long silence.

"He left. I don't know where he went. But it's for the best."

She nodded, and stared at the sealed envelope for a few long moments.

"I'd…I think I'd like to be alone with this."

"I understand. I'll see you later. Call if you need anything."

The two friends hugged and Ron let himself out the front door. Still shaking slightly, Hermione sank onto a chair in the living room and opened the letter.

_Dear Hermione,_

_By the time you read this, I'll already be gone. And I won't be coming back. Ron's convinced me that it's for the best. It took a while, but I realized that he's right. If I stayed in England, all I could do was think of you and it would only hurt both of us more. I know you're happy with Percy, and now knowing you're happy is enough for me. I'm so sorry I messed things up between us and if there was any way to go back in time and change what happened, you know I would. I want you to know that I don't hold anything against you. You had every right to move on when I disappeared and I'm glad you were able to find happiness even if I wasn't. I know you'll have a great life and I only ask that you don't stay angry with me. I was out of line trying to get you back the way I did, but it was the only way I could think of. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me, I can only hope and pray that you find it within you to move past your feelings of anger and hurt. I'm sorry to have caused you so much pain. I hope things turn out the best possible way they can for you. You may not love me anymore, but I still hope you can move beyond being angry with me. Goodbye, Hermione._

_Harry_

She finished reading the letter and leaned back into the chair. So that was it. He was gone and wasn't coming back. She knew it was for the best, that if he stayed around, things would only get worse, just like the letter had said. She noticed something else in the envelope. Slowly and with shaking fingers, she removed an old photograph of her and Harry back at Hogwarts. She smiled at the memory, and realized that was all there would ever be. He was gone, it was all a memory.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione stood and walked into her bedroom. She pulled a small wooden box from under her bed and opened the lid. The box held all sorts of mementos, including her deceased father's pocket watch and her mother's silver locket. She put the letter and photograph in with everything else and closed the box.

"Goodbye, Harry." She slid the box back under the bed, and sat up again. Her eyes fell on her wedding picture and she started to cry at everything that had just happened. She cried for Harry, and for herself, and for what had happened and for what would never come to be. She was reaching the end of her tears when Percy opened the bedroom door, worry etched in the lines of his face.

"Hermione are you all right?"

"I'm okay now. Thanks." She stood, walked over to her husband, and put her arms around him. She felt him hug her close and gently kissed his cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

She heard his words and knew he was telling the truth. She also knew, that despite everything that had happened, that she really would be okay.

**And I'll love you – always**

-Fin

A/N: "David Brown" was intended to be a fictional alter ego for Harry. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is complete coincidence.

A/N2: Please review!!!


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